BIRTW: Vol 35, Sept 16

Sep 16, 2017 | Books

It feels like foreevvveeeerrr since I’ve written in my blog. I am sad to say that I broke my streak of posting once a week for the first time since I started Books I Read This Week in January. BUT! I bring you consolation prize. A fancy schmancy new website!

Ya know, because I’m a web designer, maybe I should step it the fuck up.

So I did!

 

 

Bliss

Author: Lynsay Sands

Series: N/A

Tags: historical romance, medieval romance, enemies to lovers, estate manager, warrior, widow

Format: audiobook

Rating: meh.

 

Okay, so all I can think right now is WEE HEATH.

Wee Heath.

That’s what our big strong warrior lord widower hero calls his manhood. Because his name is Heath. And his penis’s name is Wee Heath.

 

It’s pretty on par with other Sands’s Time Period Not Specified Historical Romances. This author’s niche really is arranged marriages. They are two nobles with neighboring lands, always arguing. The king (one of the Henry’s) makes them get married. Neither of them want to marry the other, but while he’s kind of resigned to it, she develops a series of Parent-Trap-like hijinx to scare him off from marrying her!

Foul breath, rancid food, bitter ale.

These are the things that will get you out of a marriage ordered by the king, apparently.

More Sandsian nuggets fall in line. Bath scene! Murder attempts! Awkward honeymoon night scene! Large fluffy dog! Wee Heath!

So that’s great.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Charming

Author: Dannika Dark

Series: Seven #6.5

Tags: paranormal romance, urban fantasy, shifters, werewolves, kind of creepy weirdly attractive older guy, twins!, bronytail, bounty hunter, banding together to solve mystery, bronytail

Format: audiobook

Rating: yay!

 

Awww! The Seven series!!!!!! I miiiiiissssss it…

I fucking love this series. It’s so sexy, strong, yet vulnerable. These seven shifter wolf brothers just living in Austin, Texas, trying to get by as the newest pack in town, with their muscle cars and motorcycles and tattoos and rock music…

Oh man.

I would read it again, but I fear that it would not hold up a second time. Plus, also, I’m STILL mad at Denver for being an asshole in Six Minutes.

You know you love a book when you spend non-reading times scolding characters in your head.

Denver’s the Funny One, and he feels like to me that guy friend you are marginally attracted to, but also know it would never work out, so instead you two share a friendly platonic bond and you get real with him when he’s being an asshole which was ALL OF HIS BOOK.

And I still am a little madly in love with Reno, the oldest brother and beta (right hand man), who is quiet and an ex-soldier and always says “I’m not gonna church it up for ya.”

Reno! I squealed like a fan girl when he showed up in this one.

 

But this one is not about any of the brothers. It’s a novella about an extremely old, teensy bit creepy alpha named Prince. I mean, in book 6, he tries to win over a girl just because of her blood type, meeting her when she’s 3 and patiently waiting till she’s a bangable age.

You know how sometimes in romances the rival is an older, richer, decently nice man, who offers the heroine stability and wealth in exchange for some poontang, and she’s kind of attracted to his money?

That’s Prince.

I wasn’t particularly interested in Prince, and the woman introduced as his love interest, Natalia, is even worse. She’s all stuck up poise and superficiality. She’s an art dealer that wears pant suits and owns a white couch. Definitely a outcast in this flannel and jeans type crew.

But surprise! He’s actually interested in her twin sister! The clutzy, totally casual, thoroughly American bounty hunter Kat is all wrong for him… and just right. He’s all, “JK, swapsies!” and they live happily ever after.

Dark manages to put a smattering of diverse personalities in the female cast, with meek, feisty, strong, sexy to name a few. So I was a little worried that we were going to do Natalia just for the sake of being different.

Nope! Kat is casual, sweet, tough, naive and clumsy. So, very in line with Dark’s other characters.

 

Something about Dark’s strong but vulnerable females just makes me happy. Enough of each to belay any kind of inner feminist lecture, and they are just so darn cute!

I found out there are other Dark books on OverDrive, so they are definitely going on my wishlist!

 

 

Born of Ice

Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon

Series: The League #3, The League Legacy #2

Tags: space romance, smuggler, slave, sabotage, 2nd generation

Format: audiobook

Rating: meh.

 

Just chugging along in the K section of OverDrive…

 

Now wait a bloody minute! Why is #3 the second generation of heroes, even though we just return back to the first generation in book 4??

Devyn is the son of Syn, who was #2…but #4 focuses on the brother of Shahara, Syn’s wife, and therefore is only a few years after #2…

Y’all, I AM CONFUSED.

The only earthly reason to do that is because you wanted to and you can, fuck all those readers, they have to figure it out their own damn selves.

Uughhh this is why regency romance is so much better.

In a good ol RR, you have

  • a clear list of potential heroes and/or heroines (via a secret society, or card game, or a traumatic event at Eaton or what have you)
  • a series of self contained storylines with their own delightfully different motif
  • and you can bet your booty that if a male side character is mentioned obliquely in the book, he is in the lineup to be the next hero in the next book.

So easy! So clear!

Kenyon needs to take a step back and organize her damn characters.

 

There are a plethora of side characters. In the first book I thought it was because she was setting them up to be knocked down, one after another. But each book we just add more! And now all this talk about second gen adults! Who are your parents? Why are you like this? What is your story? Argh, I need a family tree.

 

The book itself was okay I guess. I’m getting tired of the fallback backstory line of hero being “heart broken by frigid bitch” as a hardship. I mean, he was raising by loving, doting parents, so I guess you have to find something.

 

Also, what kind of fancy medical science do they have where Devyn can break the heroine’s bone, and she’s up and walking and battle ready by the next day?

And yet.

Still.

No.

Birth control.

 

 

Immortal Cowboy

 

I bet you are looking at the cover art and asking yourself, how is this cowboy immortal? Is he a ghost? Is he a vampire? Is he a vampire ghost? If he’s a ghost, then he’s dead…how can he be a dead immortal? Wouldn’t that make it Post-mortal Cowboy?

Well, you’ll just have to wait for tomorrow for my response when Getting Lit Podcast Episode 8 comes out!

Hooorray!

 

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